The reasons of saying Yes and No

“Don’t Say Yes When You Want To Say No,”Most people say “yes” to everything and everybody, even when they want or need to say “no” sometimes.

Why? The reason is that as a society we are raised to believe that others come first and ourselves last, but that sometimes we need to put ourselves first and not feel guilty about it. Everyone takes in and develops most of his or her beliefs before the age of 6 by watching and learning them from his or her own family members. We like to see ourselves as helpful, and so it’s hard for us to turn others down when we really need to. Three beliefs or myths commonly are associated with not being able to say no when we really need to.

Belief No. 1 is “Saying no means they’ll think I’m selfish.” By looking after myself I’m more able to look after others.”

Belief No. 2 is “I can’t say no because I must always help other people.”  “I can choose to help others if I wish.”

Belief No. 3.  “I couldn’t possibly say no; it would hurt their feelings.”

Communication is so important that we can’t let it be ineffective, we have to understand it for it to be effective at all.

There are four types of communication, and each affects us in a different way. Aggressive communication may be honest and direct, but unlike assertiveness, where the aim is to open up communication, aggressive communication aims to promote or advance the speaker’s aims at the expense of the receiver’s. This, said Johnson, is a win-lose situation or one-way communication because the speaker aims to control, invade, dominate and take advantage of the other person.


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